Danielle Guerin

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After being a work-at-home entrepreneur for over 8 years, I can attest that the toughest thing for me, personally, was learning to say no to potential clients or customers. When you work for yourself – especially in the early days – you’re not always sure where that next paycheck is coming from. And even when the customer roster is full this month, you can’t be positive the same will be true next month or the month after, so you tend to take on more work than you can comfortably perform. After all, isn’t a few nights of burning the midnight oil well worth the benefit of having a little more padding in the bank account?

The problem is, working too much to stay ahead causes us stress and job burnout – and it also makes spouses and families a tad angry! So we just exchange one stress point (finances) for another (overwork and family pressure). There is a solution, although you’re not going to like it. Set a limit and stick to it.

I know, I know, this is easier said than done. But I can honestly say that I’ve never had a customer or client disappear into thin air when I told him or her they had to wait a few weeks or months to work with me. In fact, it often shows that you’re in demand and that you can pick and choose who you work with, and when. And that’s a valuable trait, particularly when you want to command top rates for your expertise.

Think about the busiest restaurant you know of: the Hard Rock Cafe, the Cheesecake Factory, Wolfgang Puck’s flagship restaurant, etc. The advance reservations notice these establishments require actually increases their mystique and reputation. Making your customers and clients wait can do the same for you!

Decide how many products you’re going to release, how many interviews you’re going to do, how many coaching clients you’re going to work with, how many articles you’ll write, or how many hours you’re going to work per week, and then stop. That’s it – no more.

One of the best ways to keep your work commitments at a tolerable level is to make a commitment to your family. You can start with committing to attending every softball game, every Scout meeting, and every recital. You can promise dinner each evening, or read out of a chapter book every night to your children. This will make you accountable to your own scheduled work day. You may feel a momentary pang of regret or anxiety when you tell a potential client “no” or “wait.” I’m willing to bet it will soon fade when you realize how much less stressed you are on a day-to-day basis, and how much happier your home life is!

You’ve set boundaries for your commitment to your clients. You’ll say the words “no” or “wait” to a client when the time constraints of a new assignment don’t fit within your agenda. You have now become the boss of your time. Does your family know that?

There you are sitting at your desk in your home office, available to everyone – kids, spouse, neighbors, friends – at a moments notice. You wanted to work at home so you COULD be available to your family, but what are the limits? You’re working at home in order to enjoy the flexibility and availability to the ones you love, and working at home in order to create a successful business which requires focused time away from distractions.

As “The Barbra” would say, “People, people who need people, are the luckiest people in the world.” The truth is, we all need people. We need at least one “safe spot” where we can let it all hang out and not worry about being judged, criticized, or taken advantage of. Just by their very existence, supportive friends like these help us deal with the stress in our lives.

Since I started my business 8 years ago, I have made many true friends and I know where to turn to when, once in a while, not to often thankfully, I feel like flippin’ burgers for a big chain of restaurant instead of being an entrepreneur. I am grateful for MY Virtual Assistant community.

If you’re not lucky enough to have that kind of relationship right now, don’t worry. There are places that offer support for you from people who know your struggles and want to relish in your successes. Here are a few suggestions of where you might go to find what you need to prop you up when you need it:

Online forums

Find an online discussion forum or message board for work-at-home entrepreneurs. There are literally hundreds to choose from! While these groups often refer business to each other, their biggest benefit, in my opinion, is the support they provide. Working from home can be a lonely business, and networking with others who are in similar situations makes it less lonely. It’s impossible to feel left on your own when there are so many people on these forums to cheer you on.

A coach or mentor

Finding a coach or mentor who is several steps ahead of you on the journey to business success can be one of the best moves you ever make. Though their main goal is to provide business guidance, the good ones are also a great source of support and motivation. They know the ups and downs of the work-at-home entrepreneur, and can tell you if what you’re experiencing is just normal growing pains, or something else. Best of all, they can help you devise a plan to deal with the stress you’re feeling.

Family

Don’t overlook your family as a source of support. They may have no idea what you do all day – particularly if it involves internet marketing – but they love you and want the best for you. If you tell your spouse or loved one you just need a non-judgmental ear to hear you work through some issues out loud, you’ll likely find that he or she is more than willing to listen. Give your family a chance to learn as you learn. You didn’t know what to expect when you started down this venture, and neither did they. Include them in your learning curve. Then you’ll have a family that feels a part of your process and will be more than willing to support you.

Real face-to-face friends

When you work from home, you can get locked to your desk and find that most of your closest friends live inside your computer! That’s just fine, as these relationships are fulfilling, supportive, and “real” all on their own. But there’s also something to be said for meeting a friend for a cup of coffee and some real live conversation. We need interpersonal interaction of the face-to-face kind, with the give-and-take conversation patterns that we humans are familiar with. The start-and-stop, ebb-and-flow, of our thoughts and opinions in a real live conversation. Don’t limit your contact with the world to Facebook, Twitter, and email. Connect with your “real-world” friends regularly.

A therapist or counselor

Trained mental health professionals are wonderful resources for objective, sound advice in dealing with stress. While they probably won’t be able to help you figure out the product launch strategy for your latest interactive course, they can help you find ways to deal with relationships, stress, and other negative mental emotions. Often, when voiced out loud to a trained professional as an outside party, a thought that’s been stressing you will all of a sudden make sense. Get a good recommendation from a friend, colleague, or your doctor and schedule an appointment if you feel that a professional therapist would help you straighten out those kinks that keep you from feeling healthy and fulfilled.

When you work from home, stress is everywhere. It’s in your success as you become more in demand, it’s in your lack of success as you try to figure out how to make a go of your venture. When you’re stressed out, you become less effective as your energy is sapped away from your goals and diverted to fighting fires. If you could minimize these stressors, you’d be better able to focus on your long-term business goals.

In my experience, there are nine main stress points that home-based entrepreneurs face:

1.You’re stressed because you don’t set priorities.

2.You’re stressed because you don’t manage your time efficiently.

3.You’re stressed because a lot of what you do is outside your control.

4.You’re stressed because you can’t say no.

5.You’re stressed because you don’t set boundaries for your family.

6.You’re stressed because you get sucked into the TV/e-mail/blog-reading trap.

7.You’re stressed because you don’t delegate.

8.You’re stressed because you don’t take care of yourself or your health.

9.You’re stressed because you don’t have a support system.

If you were to rate yourself on each point, you’d likely score higher on some than others. You may be a great delegator, but you’re not so good at setting boundaries. Each of us has our own strengths and weaknesses, based on our experience and personality. Even if you answer “yes” to only one of these stress points, you may suffer from more anxiety than someone who has answered “yes” to numerous stressors. Each of us responds differently to outside pressures and stress.

In upcoming posts, we’ll take a look at how you can make adjustments and get on the road to increased productivity and a more enjoyable work life. The first stop? Taking a look at your priorities.