Danielle Guerin

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As “The Barbra” would say, “People, people who need people, are the luckiest people in the world.” The truth is, we all need people. We need at least one “safe spot” where we can let it all hang out and not worry about being judged, criticized, or taken advantage of. Just by their very existence, supportive friends like these help us deal with the stress in our lives.

Since I started my business 8 years ago, I have made many true friends and I know where to turn to when, once in a while, not to often thankfully, I feel like flippin’ burgers for a big chain of restaurant instead of being an entrepreneur. I am grateful for MY Virtual Assistant community.

If you’re not lucky enough to have that kind of relationship right now, don’t worry. There are places that offer support for you from people who know your struggles and want to relish in your successes. Here are a few suggestions of where you might go to find what you need to prop you up when you need it:

Online forums

Find an online discussion forum or message board for work-at-home entrepreneurs. There are literally hundreds to choose from! While these groups often refer business to each other, their biggest benefit, in my opinion, is the support they provide. Working from home can be a lonely business, and networking with others who are in similar situations makes it less lonely. It’s impossible to feel left on your own when there are so many people on these forums to cheer you on.

A coach or mentor

Finding a coach or mentor who is several steps ahead of you on the journey to business success can be one of the best moves you ever make. Though their main goal is to provide business guidance, the good ones are also a great source of support and motivation. They know the ups and downs of the work-at-home entrepreneur, and can tell you if what you’re experiencing is just normal growing pains, or something else. Best of all, they can help you devise a plan to deal with the stress you’re feeling.

Family

Don’t overlook your family as a source of support. They may have no idea what you do all day – particularly if it involves internet marketing – but they love you and want the best for you. If you tell your spouse or loved one you just need a non-judgmental ear to hear you work through some issues out loud, you’ll likely find that he or she is more than willing to listen. Give your family a chance to learn as you learn. You didn’t know what to expect when you started down this venture, and neither did they. Include them in your learning curve. Then you’ll have a family that feels a part of your process and will be more than willing to support you.

Real face-to-face friends

When you work from home, you can get locked to your desk and find that most of your closest friends live inside your computer! That’s just fine, as these relationships are fulfilling, supportive, and “real” all on their own. But there’s also something to be said for meeting a friend for a cup of coffee and some real live conversation. We need interpersonal interaction of the face-to-face kind, with the give-and-take conversation patterns that we humans are familiar with. The start-and-stop, ebb-and-flow, of our thoughts and opinions in a real live conversation. Don’t limit your contact with the world to Facebook, Twitter, and email. Connect with your “real-world” friends regularly.

A therapist or counselor

Trained mental health professionals are wonderful resources for objective, sound advice in dealing with stress. While they probably won’t be able to help you figure out the product launch strategy for your latest interactive course, they can help you find ways to deal with relationships, stress, and other negative mental emotions. Often, when voiced out loud to a trained professional as an outside party, a thought that’s been stressing you will all of a sudden make sense. Get a good recommendation from a friend, colleague, or your doctor and schedule an appointment if you feel that a professional therapist would help you straighten out those kinks that keep you from feeling healthy and fulfilled.

Jack Welch didn’t empty the trash cans at GE. Steve Jobs doesn’t answer all of Apple’s emails. And I bet Meg Whitman never wrote a single piece of code for eBay. Instead, these high-flying execs knew that in order to take their companies to the top, they needed to delegate and outsource.

Put simply, if you try to do it all yourself, your head is going to explode. Why not accept that fact upfront and consistently focus on the parts of your business where you bring the greatest value?

Though delegating will save you tons of stress in the long term, in the short term it can be a little anxiety-producing. Here are some tips if you’re just starting down the delegation path:

Choose time limited tasks.

The best jobs to start delegating are those that have a concrete beginning and end. It’s much easier to ask someone to reproduce CDs and mail them for you then it is to ask them to “improve your inventory program.” Start with tasks that you could easily create a checklist for and that have a start-to-finish quality.

Set measurable goals.

Define what “completion” looks like for you, and share that picture with the person to which you’ve chosen to delegate the task. For example, say “When you’re done, all the CDs will be reproduced, packaged, labeled, and shipped, and you’ll have a receipt from the shipping company for me.” The more specific you are in the end result you desire, the more likely it is that your helper will do a satisfactory job.

Focus on the outcome, not on the process.

One of the biggest mistakes business owners make when they delegate is they micromanage the process. Every step of the way, they’re looking over the helper’s shoulder, making sure everything is done “right.”  This is going to cause multiple problems and is just so WRONG. Worry less about HOW the work is getting done and focus on the end result. You’re not saving time if you’re managing every step of the process. Remember, you’re trying to make less work for yourself, not more. Trust your judgment – you chose someone you could depend on, so now depend on them.

Focus on “good enough” not “perfection.”

This is a tough one for work-at-home entrepreneurs, who tend to be of the “If you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself,” school of thought. To save yourself time and stress, you’ve got to let go of that expectation. Some jobs don’t need to be done perfectly – it’s fine if it’s just done at all! There are no awards for the person who does the “best” job of mailing your CDs because just getting them out the door on time is good enough, right? How much better can you get?

Evaluate the efforts and fine tune as necessary.

There’s always room for improvement – on both sides! Ask your helper where you could have done a more effective job of managing the process, and be open to her suggestions. Then if you see some ways she could work more effectively, suggest them in a constructive manner. Make sure your review of the process is OUTCOME related, not PROCESS related. You’re worried about the bottom line here!

Now that you’ve gotten over the fact that you can’t do it all and are delegating some tasks, you’ve got a few minutes to breathe deep and take a look at yourself. Have you been eating right and exercising? Are you sleeping well? Do you take any time at all for yourself? Perhaps you never thought you had the time to take care of yourself. Maybe you never thought it was important to take care of yourself.

That’s all going to change. You have a lot to lose if you don’t take care of YOU first and foremost.

I you want to start small, delegating limited tasks, you may start by delegating things like housecleaning, bookkeeping, cooking or even smaller tasks to your spouse or children if they are young enough. There is REALLY no reason why you should do it all yourself.

Notice how I used the term helper and not VA? There’s a reason for that. A true VA is much more than someone you delegate limited tasks to.  Virtual Assistants are entrepreneurs and frankly, I would get bored if clients only delegated limited tasks… Some of the best Virtual Assistants I know are proactive, make suggestions to their clients and offer solutions not only reduce to their clients time and stress, but to help their clients expand the business and increase income as well.

Quick – pull out a few of your old To-Do lists. Look through them for that one item that keeps appearing, over and over, as you transfer it from list to list. How old is it? A week? A month? Longer?

We all have these stinkers that sink to the bottom of every To-Do list. Maybe it’s cold-calling a dozen potential partners. Maybe it’s revamping your website. Maybe it’s something as easy as making an appointment for an evaluation. Whatever your personal roadblock is, it’s time to bring it into the light of day and get it done. Here’s how:

Ask yourself why you haven’t done it yet.
Do you just not want to? Do you not know how to do it? Is it too complex to tackle all at once? Do you tell yourself it will take too long? Do you need more information before you can get started? Figure out what the hold-up is. Once you know what’s causing your stopping point, you can work to address it.

Chunk it down.
If the task is a complex one and you’re putting it off just because you think it’ll take too long, you need to break it up into parts. Of course you’re never going to get around to reorganizing your office if you’re waiting for a block of 8 empty hours when you can tackle the chore. Instead, look for smaller pockets of time where you can accomplish more manageable pieces of the larger task. If the task is particularly odious or unappealing, 15 minutes is a good start.

Give yourself a visual reminder of your progress.
If you’re dealing with a complex project that will require multiple tasks across many days, chart your progress where you can see it and be motivated by your completion (or lack thereof). Imagine a workout chart or a fund-raising goal to visualize how this would work.

Write it in your calendar.
If putting the activity on your To-Do list isn’t doing the trick, put it on your calendar. Actually schedule a specific time that you will complete the task. Don’t let anything else supersede your appointment!

Reward yourself.
Sometimes it’s enough of a reward to think past the task and imagine how your life or business will improve as a result of completing the unappealing item. But sometimes you need a little more motivation. If you’re working on reorganizing your office, promise yourself a new desk set or planner. Dinner out at a special restaurant, or $20 to spend on Amazon are also good motivators.

It’s been said that the only difference between a winner and a loser is that the winner does the things the loser wasn’t willing to do. Turn your business into a winner by tackling those tasks you’d rather avoid. You’ll usually find that getting them off your list will give you a huge boost of energy, leaving you ready to get on with the rest of your day with excitement.